On Staying — Building home within the body

With autoimmune dis-ease, we often speak about the body rejecting itself - about one part of the self (technically, the immune system) turning against another.

Energetically, there are many layers to this — repression of emotion, disconnection from the body, a loss of awareness of needs and feelings. All of these are deeply interrelated.

But there’s another layer that feels just as important.

Often, there is a deep unconscious rejection of life itself —

Or perhaps more accurately, a rejection of the discomfort of being here.

I want to explore this through the lens of the medicine that is moving through my world.

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This morning, both of my kids didn’t want to go to school. They hid under my bed and pleaded for a “home” day.

I listened. And I understood them — because I know what it feels like to want to hide from the uncomfortable, from the unknown, and from feeling out of control.

In fact, as a child, I never wanted to go to school. I hated it. It was overwhelming to my system (I was, and still am, energetically sensitive). I felt uncomfortable. I felt like I didn’t belong. And I felt like no one was there to understand or hold me in this experience.

I already carried a sense of not belonging within my family, and so school became the place where that discomfort was projected and amplified.

All I wanted was to stay home, to receive comfort, and to feel safe.

And what I realized in looking back, is that when I was sick — I got that.

When I was sick, I stayed home.

I received more care and nurturing.

I also received more attunement to my needs — needs I didn’t yet know how to name, and that weren’t always available to me otherwise.

And so I would often say I was sick - sometimes it would work, other times it wouldn't.

But I was sick a lot.

You could consider this coincidence —but I personally don't believe in coincidence, especially given that every one of our cells is a projection field for our consciousness.

My system learned something very early: When I’m uncomfortable, being “sick” brings relief, care, and permission to rest.

Instead of managing through and staying with the emotional discomfort and overwhelm - something I didn’t have the skills or capacity for at the time - I learned to turn to physical discomfort... that is, on a very deep unconscious level.

Eventually, that circuit became embedded.

When stress intensified…when life felt overwhelming…the plug would get pulled,and this inner circuit would activate.

We often see stress as a contributor to flares, but we often don't see the deeper circuitry beneath it.

What I've come to see is that in the way I've described here, illness became a solution - a way out of the emotional discomfort when there was no other perceived option.

And when I lay this over the idea of Earth being a “school” — a place we come as souls to grow, expand, and learn through our humanity — something clicks.

“I don’t want to go to school.”“I don’t want to be here.”“I want to go home.”

This right here ☝️ is the rejection of life that I’m speaking to.

I'm using the word rejection, but really it's about overwhelm, self-preservation, and safety.

There’s also a deep longing present — a longing for home. 

For many, that home feels like somewhere else: another realm carrying distant imprints of love, connection, and ease.

But the invitation I have perceived is different.

The invitation is to build home here.In this body.On this earth.In this life.

To choose being here.

This is why my work is called ROOTED - because it is a rooting into the body through gently delayering the deeper imprints and energetics that have made this feel unsafe or inaccessible.

The invitation is to stay.To belong.To create a sense of inner safety.And ultimately, to make a home within yourself.

Even when it's uncomfortable. Especially when it's uncomfortable.

This right here is both the threshold and the invitation.

And it doesn’t invite you to push or bypass –

but to listen, to honour, and to stay with what's arising.

What I'm talking about is an entirely new way of relating to yourself and your body along with a deep recalibration of the nervous system... which is highly linked to the immune system.

Below, I share a testimonial that speaks beautifully to readiness and to this very facet of this work.

This is the work that is ROOTED.

If and when this resonates, you are welcome. 🫶

With deep belief in your body's wisdom,

Natalie